Transient Things

Intention

Posted by Rath Loeung , Thursday, June 20, 2013 7:42 AM

I step back a little to catch myself thinking, "I'm going to be more intentional about _______," quite a bit more than I realized. Have I allowed myself to become numb to these resolutions? Whether it's something relational or a habit I'm trying to form, I throw around the sentiment about being intentional as if there isn't any weight to it. So allow me to be a little meta for a moment: any substantial changes that need to happen require me to be a little more intentional about where I throw my intention.

Yes, I know these thoughts probably land just a little vague at the moment. But I promise you, there are logical impetuses for them currently in my life which I'll most likely disclose at some future point. The focus is on the ancient struggle: knowing what needs to happen but feeling overwhelmed by inertial resistance. I fear resolving to be more intentional about something has become a dismissive statement for me; a procrastinator's line that says, "It's important enough for me to take care of... eventually."

The old habit of trying to "will" things to happen crept back into my life because I allowed it. I started on this strand of thought when I took a figurative step back from my life. That action of taking a moment to reflect and plan outside of life's stream of activity is something I've strayed away from. Maybe the long hiatus from writing contributed, I'm not sure. For whatever reasons, ignoring the pause button on life means that I effectively ignore all the spiritual connections and resources I've worked so hard to build up. The current pace of life and the sheer mass of distractions and stimuli are forceful currents pushing me downstream, away from goals and intra-personal milestones I had set for myself.

So now that I recognize the situation, what's the remedy? I don't think I can allow myself to minimize intention anymore. My prayer today is that a red flag goes up whenever "I want to be more intentional about _______" hits my thoughts and that I truly examine the feasibility of such statements. And with the more realistic ones that get filtered through such scrutiny, I turn over to God who probably put those thoughts and yearnings in my mind from the start.